Thursday, January 29, 2009

To be His daughter

I’m doing a book study after all this winter.
In the last couple weeks, I felt God convicting me to face my past, which will help me build a stronger foundation as His daughter.
So I am doing a book study on Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
It’s a book that has been in my radar; something I’d see in a catalogue, glance at, let click in my mind before moving on to something else. I even saw last semester that it was being offered but intended to take this semester off to do other things.
God had other plans!
I guess I was curious enough about the book but, to be brutally honest with myself, I was afraid to get it/read it because I didn’t want to face the lies I have been fed, led to all my life. Lies I willingly believed even.
Through different signs from God, I agreed with Him that I was meant to read this book and do the study. I don't know that I would have read the book on my own, honestly, again because I was afraid to see the real me.
Going through the first chapter today didn’t quite scare me off but I know I have a long road ahead, one that will reveal even more lies that I was unaware of.
That is how Satan works. He tells such deceptive/clever/sweet lies. And, without the right tools, like God’s truth, we eat them up.
I know there are A LOT of lies/sins in my foundation. A lot! I did not grow up in a Christian home. We were Sunday worshipers during my childhood and I stopped attending church in high school. I did not know what it meant to have a close personal relationship with God. I did not know truly what Christmas was about or what Easter was about. They were just holidays really. We did not read the bible or have family devotions. I did not know that God was someone I could talk to at any time; someone to turn to in times of need and celebration. He was just someone out there, untouchable, cold, hard, unforgiving.
And so, probably as a matter of survival, I’ve been in the mindset that what is in the past is in the past and move on.
Lies!! All of it!
Now, I am not saying that now, as a Christian, I am perfect. FAR from it!! I fail God, my husband, my children, myself on a nearly daily basis.
But, as I have thought about this book, I know that in order for me to live as Christ would, to be a true daughter of His, to be one to enjoy a good marriage and have Godly children, I need to address who I am, faults and all. I need to break from the bondage of these lies that fill my life.
The lies grab us, even more so as Christians because Satan is out to get us. He doesn’t want us to have a relationship with God. He wants to break us.
I see that as a Christian woman in today’s society. It’s a hard job. A lonely one. And it becomes so tiring that we fall prey to the prowling Lion.
We are constantly bombarded from all ends, which causes us to question who we are; what is our identity in Christ? Family members question and mock me for my decisions and how I raise my children. Who are you, they think, to be a Christian given your past? Friends, especially non-believers, also poke at my weak foundation. They don’t know me all that well but they do _____ so why shouldn’t I? Why should I make them look bad?
And society and all the media forms….don’t get me started! There is absolutely no support from those outlets. Christian women are left feel alone, to struggle with their identity. They are made to feel like some goodie two-shoes and outcasts.
SO I am hoping this study will reveal the lies in my life. Help me to address them. To recognize all the lies. To learn to resist the lies. And especially help to equip me more with God’s True Word so that I can stand firm as a Christian woman, wife, mother and daughter of my King.


Amber said...

Preach it girl!! You know i hear you on this one. Like I was saying today, it's hard to stand by your convictions when there is little to any support behind you. But in a way it is a good way to strengthen our character for Christ!! He is all we need. I'm so excited that you are taking this study and I know that it will be good for you (both of us).
Love ya!

Joshua, Kara and Mihret said...

I hear you loud and clear too. I did grow up in a Christian home but I was not walking the walk all the time I thought I was. I have grown a lot in my beliefs and faith and trust but even so, I feel I have barely begun the growth process that a Christian with mature faith undergoes.
I am struggling to finish an awesome study by Beth Moore called Breaking Free: Making Liberty in Christ a Reality in Life. Basically it's about allowing yourself to experience the joy in your salvation through Christ, and asking Him to get you through any obstacles that stand in your way. I am committed to finish my study that I started in 2003-04 - please ask me about how I am doing and I will ask how you are doing, too!