Monday, October 6, 2008

Best of both worlds

When I was a teenager, I never imagined myself being a stay at home mother. I had a family member who was and I imagined it being a lazy thing to do: watching soaps and staying home. No way, I thought. I wanted to be a career woman.
I sought my education with that in mind. When I got out into the workforce, I wanted to be a reporter.
I enjoyed the job, with the exception of city/town meetings and police beats.
Then I became pregnant with S and my world changed. Before she was born, we were faced with the decision of where to put her when I returned to work. Then it dawned on me. Someone else was going to raise her, see her smile, crawl, etc? The thought ate away at me. And although we checked out a highly recommended day care, and applied for it, I still felt something in the pit of my stomach.
I suddenly realized that even though I enjoyed my job, as frustrating as it was many times, I wasn't sure I wanted to give up being with my child.
I thought to try it both ways: be home part-time and work part-time. But the only way for that to work was to work in the evenings, which meant missing out on time with my husband and newborn.
The deciding factor came when S rolled over while I was covering a town meeting. I was crushed! Here I had been spending my mornings and afternoons with her but that milestone moment happened while I was at work.
Still, I wrestled with the decision of to stay or continue my career. I felt God's prompting but still I worried about giving up all I workd for (education and career). I also felt like I was going to be giving up a part of who I was.
Turns out it is so worth it! I don't always get time to myself, or make time for myself. My children are always with me. Sometimes the word "Mommy" drives me crazy. Sometimes it would be nice to sit and read a book in peace. A SAHM's life is not all bon-bons and soap operas!
But the rest of the time, it is worth all that to see them grow and thrive and blossom under the love of both parents.
And I still get to write as a freelance writer, which I do while the girls nap.
It's truly a blessing! I thank God for His prompting. He made my path known and I am so glad I gave it all to Him and listened to Him. I am thankful to my husband as well, who fully supported the decision.
The road has not always been easy as we have made some sacrifices. But it is so worth it.
I know many moms are not as fortunate or have the desire to be a SAHM. And in no way do I judge them. Being a mom is tough all around, be it as a SAHM or a career mother.
I am just thankful for this blessing given to me and cherish every moment.

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